


In Which Bastian Tries to Be Responsible and Lukas Refuses

by tempered_rose



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, I Tried, M/M, The Author Regrets Everything, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 02:45:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4042750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tempered_rose/pseuds/tempered_rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title says it all…poor Basti. And poor Ducky. He's going to be scarred for life! o.O</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Bastian Tries to Be Responsible and Lukas Refuses

**Author's Note:**

> For the Anon on Tumblr who requested from [the meme](http://elleeffsee.tumblr.com/post/120235038920/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you), "don't ever do that again" and I thought I'd attempt crack fic. I apologize in advance.

“Don’t do it.”

“Do what? _This_?”

“ _Yes_! That!”

“Oops, I did it again.”

“Lukas.”

“Basti.”

“Stop quoting Britney Spears songs.”

“Would you hold it against me?”

“Lukas! Don’t do it again!”

“But it’s fun, and I’m feeling like driving you crazy.”

“I don’t care, stop. And stop with the other thing too.”

“I like doing it.”

“I know you do, but you shouldn’t.”

“But it’s fun.”

“Lukas, you’re impossible.”

“What happened to you? Ten years ago, you’d be doing this with me.”

“Ten years ago, I wasn’t the captain.”

“So you have grown up?”

“A little.”

“That’s a shame. You’re losing your sense of humor.”

“Did you just _flick_ that at me?”

“…no.”

“Lukas! I’m telling him.”

“Like I’m so scared of the big blond duck.”

“You should be. When he sees what you’ve done…”

“You shouldn’t sigh like that. Basti, you can’t honestly tell me you haven’t enjoyed watching me do this…”

“….that’s besides the point. And put your trousers back on.”

“ _Lukas_! Stop smearing Nutella all over your—“

“Come here, Basti.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“God, fuck, Bastian. Oh fuck! that feels so good.”

“…”

“Mulli, told me you two had been rifling through my gym bag and that you had stolen my giant jar of Nutella and—OH MY GOD PUT SOME CLOTHES BACK ON AND YOU’RE BUYING ME A NEW JAR! WHO THE FUCK TRIES TO USE NUTELLA AS A LUBRICANT?!!!”

“Um…”

“Uh…”

“DON’T TALK TO ME. I’M GOING TO KILL THOMAS MULLER, AND DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!”

*BANG*

“Like I said, I’m not afraid of the big blond duck. Now, how about you bend back over again…”

“Lukas, you really need to learn—”

“Stop sighing and bend over, Basti.”

“Oh, go on then.”


End file.
